Little Johny

TEACHER: Why are you late?
L-JOHNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
L-JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't  have ten years ago.
L-JOHNY: Me!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground  then you are.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNY: Don't bite any.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
L-JOHNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."
L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of  the alphabet."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got  married on the sameday
sametime."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you now why his father didn't punish him?"
L-Johnny : "Because George still had  the axe in his hand."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy  then?
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
and one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same  at home.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?
L-Johnny: Brotherly love.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did u copy his?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher